“you cant have depression i saw you smile like five minutes ago stop crying”
REPEAT AFTER ME;
THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH A PERSON IDENTIFYING AS “DISABLED”.
DISABLED IS NOT A SLUR.
IT IS NOT AN INSULT.
OR A SWEAR WORD.
WHAT IS WRONG IS A NON-DISABLED PERSON TELLING SOMEONE WHO IS DISABLED NOT TO IDENTIFY AS SUCH.
But what if I’m not?
Don’t get me wrong. I think I understand the original message about addiction.
but it looks like a generic prescription bottle. It looks like the bottles that my anti-anxiety meds come in. And let me tell you I am not so strong that I don’t need them. And that’s okay. I am strong enough to admit that I need help.
And I enjoy the meds, because they don’t change me they just make it easier to control and be me. Those meds mean that I can function, that I can write, that I can think, that I can be, that I can live and do things. And that’s amazingly precious.
Let me just add:
- I am not strong enough to go without my pain medications.
- I am not strong enough to live in bed, my mind consumed with the fiery agony that would consume my body.
- I am not strong enough to withstand massive mood swings within hours or days of each other.
- I am not strong enough to claw myself out of the pit of depression I find myself in without antidepressants.
- I am not strong enough to survive without constant immune regulation via antihistamines and steroids.
Thanks to my medications I have a far higher quality of life than if I weren’t taking them. Through my medications I am stronger. Modern medicine has saved me.
This is okay. There is nothing wrong with taking the medication that frees you to be yourself.
A How To Guide: When Someone You Know Has Changed Their Pronouns
I have changed my pronouns before and this is the advice I like to give people when they ask how to handle it. I get that it can be difficult, especially if you’ve known someone for years before they made this change. Here are some things to remember.
1. It ain’t about you. Yes, it’s a little uncomfortable the first few times you try to remember their pronouns (and in some cases, their current name). But YOUR discomfort about remembering something does not trump their dysphoria about being misgendered. Once you realize that it ain’t about you, it gets easier to remember. After all, this is someone you respect. So show it.
2. Ask when it’s appropriate to use their pronouns. Some people don’t use their pronouns everywhere because of safety concerns. Some people aren’t out to everyone. And some folks are fluid in relation to their pronouns. It isn’t your place to judge. If it’s okay with the person, you might consider completely dropping pronoun usage, especially in unsafe environments. Meaning, instead of s/he (or whatever else their pronoun is), just use their name. I find that makes the transition a little smoother.
3. Yes. You will need to think a second longer before you speak until it becomes second nature. In my cellphone, if someone changes their name or pronouns, I place a reminder next to their name. So for about a month is says Current Name/Previous Name (Pronoun). Example: Sally/Andrew (she). That way if I see a new number called Sally in my phone I’m not like, “Who the fuck is this?” After a while, I remember without the reminder and then I delete it. Same with screennames and such. I’ve used rhyming words to help remember things. There are lots of mental tricks to help. Do whatever you gotta do. But when you talk TO them or ABOUT them or in RELATION to them… use the correct words. I’m notoriously HORRIBLE at remembering things so I tell people upfront. “Just so you know, I will do my very best to respect you and call you by your correct name/pronouns. I might fuck up because I am forgetful but PLEASE call me on it and I’ll make sure it doesn’t continue.” Not once has anyone been anything other than appreciative because everyone likes to feel respected.
4. WHEN (not if because if you do this long enough, you WILL) you misgender someone, APOLOGIZE. Don’t make it a huge deal. Simply, “I’m sorry.” I like to use someone’s name when I apologize because it sounds more sincere and it’s a reminder for myself as well. Use the correct pronoun (or name) and move one. Making a big deal of it to look super progressive actually makes you look like an ass. And if you’re really sorry, it shouldn’t keep happening.
That’s pretty much it. And yes, you have to use their pronoun and/or name even when they aren’t around. Saying shit like, “You know Andrew, right?” when you are talking about Sally is fucked up. Something like, “You know Sally, right?” Then describe the person. And if someone else misgenders them (and it’s someone who should know better) correct them. If not, you are co-signing their disrespectful bullshit and that’s not cool.
Over and out.
by Suzy X for BITCH Magazine
When people say “But it (homosexuality/trans people/polyamory/gender-neutral parenting/whatever) will confuse teh childrenz!”
Dude. Confusion is a primary state of being for children. Children are confused by child-proof medicine bottles. A favorite pastime of many a child is asking “Why?” about any piece of information presented to them. Confusion is not something to be afraid of or shield your child from. Give them an explanation and move on.
Apologies for the terrible image quality - I’m lacking scanner access at the minute so I had to take these photos on my phone
I was reading hyperbole and a half’s blog entry explaining their experience of depression and decided to make another sketchy comic based on my experiences with anxiety, which is another mental illness I think people tend to misunderstand quite frequently
Hopefully this will be of use to some people - whether they suffer from anxiety themselves or if they just want to know more about it
“But don’t let your illness stop you!!!1!1!!”
I’m not “letting” my illness stop me it just plain IS stopping me it’s an ILLNESS it makes me ILL that’s what it DOES.
